Luminous Absence (2019)
This video project was apart of a class project where the assignment's main focus was incorporating a TV sculpture as the central object of the film. The TV shown in the video sits in the basement of my mom's house, collecting dust until the next time we break it out to watch old family VHS tapes. The first 6 or 7 years of my life was captured on these tapes (much thanks to my cousin Rachel for her documentation). This TV shown and the cassettes that play with it exists as a time capsule of my childhood, especially documentation of the summers and my July birthday. I wanted to use the TV and the cassettes as a visual reference of my memories of childhood - one filled with mostly happy & positive memories, but simultaneously masked with grief and sadness as my dad fought a nine year cancer battle, passing away the day after my 16th birthday. I wanted to show [visually] how I sit with the memories of my childhood now. My subconscious and collective memory of the 16 years I had with my dad is one full of mostly light, adventure and imagination. The time that comes after that still holds those emotion, but it is weighted with sadness and absence as we only experience time linearly. My streamline of consciousness feels as if I am light years away from my dad, but I still feel that he could also walk through the front door of my house at any moment. His once joyous physical existence that lit up a room has been limited to collective consciousness of memories + stories, objects he that once possessed, the spaces he created and the people he was connected to. Grieving the absence of him has never been one thing, but something that is continuously shifting, evolving, overwhelming depending on the day and something I am always (re)examining. He left a deep hole, one that has been patched up over and over again with time, but the scar always remains. As I sit with these visual memories, I hold the memories I have with him tight and the people I still have even tighter.
A Good Night's Sleep (2018)
This film depicts what my dreams look and sound like. There is no storyline, but it's more of a way to visualize my thought process when I'm dreaming - a process that makes no logical sense and is very scattered. Eveything used in this film is found footage + audio.